Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
