i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
