At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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