I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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