He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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