I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
