he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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