Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize