i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
