I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
