Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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