I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize