3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
