What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
