I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
