No, drunk sperm still make babies.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He better not be in your backpack
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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