You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize