Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
