She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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