She's JV to your varsity
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You were trust falling into bushes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
