i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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