The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
