Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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