Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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