Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
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