apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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