Me. At least after what I've been through.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
