i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
