Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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