Buhtt sex?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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