I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
