if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
do herpes really smell.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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