dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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