She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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