Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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