Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
