Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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