This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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