Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
