I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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