the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
