Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
