I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
