the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
