I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Too much gin, very little bucket
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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