Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
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