weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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