its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
