Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
