About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
