He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize