So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
