So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
