Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
