He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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