people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
