he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
