I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
