so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
