Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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