i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
