She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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