it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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