so that wasnt chicken after all
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
