guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
