Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize