Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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