Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
