My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
